For the second Ultraverse spotlight, we look at one of the line’s false starts and an under-appreciated gem! Writer Gerard Jones describes two of the books that made the Ultraverse unique. Unlike other MMMs, this is more an reminder of great Marvel properties that deserve a new light than it is an examination of who the heroes are.

The Ultraverse was a writers’ playground, where new takes on comic book standards could be tried out. The X-Men were born mutants, but eventually became part of the super-hero elite. What if they never came out of the shadows? The Punisher wages a one-man army on crime, but what if the Kingpin was his father?

With new characters in a new universe, these concepts could be launched in unexpected directions.

Background:

Like Steve Englehart, Gerard Jones was one of the Ultraverse’s “Founding Fathers.” He was recruited by Chris Ulm and Malibu to help flesh out a new comic company.

“Will Jacobs and I wrote one of Malibu’s first comics, The Trouble with Girls, from 1987 until 1991, and then I’d gone on to do quite a few superhero comics for DC and Marvel, so I was a natural choice for them.”

Initially the line was promoted as a writer-based universe, the other half of the coin to Image’s initial artist-based approach to comics (initially launched by Malibu a few years earlier). It wasn’t long before the young company felt the growing pains of larger universes, especially as the line grew and readership increased.

“I always liked working for them, although I was disappointed that the writers were given a lot less creative control than we’d been promised as time went on. When the market contracted and sales dropped, the editors became much more involved in plotting, feeling they knew better what the market would support. At that point it became a lot less enjoyable.”

One series that could’ve ended better in Jones’ eyes, was the Freex. Intended as a new take on the super-hero outcast, the series was a recognizable Ultraverse quantity, but changed dramatically in its short lifespan.

“Freex may have been the first idea I came up with on my own. I know I came out of the summit with it approved as my first solo-written Ultraverse title. I’ve always loved that sort of oddball team—Doom Patrol, X-Men, the early Fantastic Four. Even the early Legion had some of that quality, the grab bag of weird heroes. Unfortunately it didn’t do as well as any of us had hoped once it saw print, and a lot of second guessing kicked in, by me and by the editors. We tried too many changes of tone and direction, and the series never quite found itself. Toward the end, when Scott Kolins was not only drawing but really involving himself in the plot, I think we had a very intriguing new direction going—but then came the sale to Marvel. I’m glad I did the series, and I think there are a few really good stories in there. But on balance it feels like a disappointment.”

Another comic, Solitaire, had the opposite problem. The focus remained clear, but sales and name recognition weren’t as strong.

“I submitted Solitaire at the first summit but it wasn’t approved right away. After the initial success of the Ultraverse, Malibu decided to add a second wave of new titles, including that one. My original notes were pretty rough, and Jeff Johnson, the artist, contributed a lot to my concept of the character. I had a great time with that series. Its run was too short, but I was glad to be able to stick to my original vision to the end. I hadn’t planned it as a maxiseries, but it worked out pretty well that way.”

The story:

Since the complete history of our heroes can be found at The Unofficial Handbook of the Marvel Universe website, brief introductions will be given here.

The story of the Freex may sound familiar at first. Several individuals learn they have strange and unwanted powers at a young age, and band together for mutual support and protection. Unlike the mutations of Marvel or the randomness of the Doom Patrol, the team initially consisted of people who were given “wetware” technology as infants. Since a single group of children were affected, all the founding members shared the same condition: they were sixteen years old with no direction and no home.

Solitaire was a lone gunman, literally. Nicholas Lone was raised a child of privilege paid for in blood. Disgusted by his father Anton Lone’s criminal empire, Nicholas became the violent vigilante Solitaire, dedicated to destroying the criminal element, and stopping his father in particular.

Abilities:

The Freex powers matched their teenage awkwardness. They were blessed with simple flight or heat vision, instead they suffered with skin-covering tentacles, shapeshifting gelatin bodies or rock-like exteriors and crippling rock-like minds.

Solitaire was first and foremost a fighter and weapons master, but a technologically-enhanced healing ability helped him emerge from gunfights few others could stand.

How could the characters be brought back?

Technically these heroes, like all Ultraverse heroes, exist in an alternate reality adjacent to the Marvel Universe, but they could always have counterparts on Earth 616.

With mutants gone after M-Day, the Freex might have a place in Marvel’s hidden alleys and Solitaire could be a much more focused (and slightly less insane) counterpart to the Punisher.

“I’m sure Marvel could make anything work if they wanted to. As for how to do it…I’d leave that up to them. If I thought there was a chance in hell they’d ever do it.”

This is the first in a series of Ultraverse spotlights, and fittingly we kick off with a comic about the start of a new age of super-heroes! Writer Steve Englehart was good enough to chime in on some of his favorite creations.

Imagine a world just like our own. Normal people living normal lives. Then one day a rare celestial event occurs, and dozens of people learn they have super-powers.

Sounds like the plot of Heroes? They were The Strangers, the team that jumpstarted the age of the Ultra in 1993!

Background:

Malibu Comics was a growing force in the industry in the early 1990s.

They were producing licensed comics like Tarzan, Alien Nation and Star Trek, were distributing indie hits like Rust and Evil Ernie, supporting early American manga series like Ninja High School, sold translated manga like Captain Harlock and perhaps most importantly, helped kick-off Image Comics.

Chris Ulm and Malibu set out to create a writer-centered line of super-hero comics, and they found some of the industry’s best. Avengers and Batman-veteran Steve Englehart was approached at a San Diego Comic Con about the idea, and he what he found in the Ultraverse was a place to try out new ideas.

One of the first, was The Strangers.

The story:

“I wanted to explore a large, diverse group of normal people who were suddenly super-powered. Each had a different power – some useful, some not – but the idea was the normalcy of these people suddenly thrust into a new form of existence, in our real world.”

In this case, that meant a bolt from the blue would “jumpstart” super-heroes, starting with a group of literal strangers in downtown San Francisco.

There were 63 people in the vicinity of the cable car (and one unfortunate guy driving by) when a strike of apparent lightning struck. They didn’t realize it, but each one had been granted a power. Now they had to figure out what to do with it.

“Some early Marvel heroes had done something similar, but as individuals – and as a group, the FF consisted of trained astronauts – but I don’t think a large group of normal people had been done before. Several other series have done it since, of course. And the other factor was, this WAS the normal world; there were no superheroes in the Ultraverse before the Strangers were created, so they had no templates to draw upon. That was the coolest part of the UV – everybody in that world had to make it up as they went along.”

That meant the book could include teenagers, college students, nursing home residents and sci-fi staples like androids (or gynoids) and subspecies of humanity – anything was game.

But this was part of a larger universe, so with that in mind, The Strangers helped kick off the concept of a universe in which “Ultras” (super-humans) were starting to come out of the woodwork.

“I just thought that if I had the Jumpstart in STRANGERS, which essentially began the Ultraverse, it would be silly to have a second event as well. So I tied Johnny to that event, and since they all lived in San Francisco, their paths crossed from time to time. Their most overt crossing took place when I tied their ANNUALs together, and that happened because I needed a lot of space to tell the huge story I was into.”

The Strangers’ origin tied into several other Ultraverse mainstays, and their story became a central part of the Ultraverse.

They even got an animated spotlight in the Ultraforce animated series.

Abilities:

Each Stranger was unique, and each had distinct powers. This could be anything from rearranging atoms to super-speed.

A few Strangers were not part of the Jumpstart event, or started out as something more than human before the jolt, but all were affected in some way.

Why haven’t the characters shown up again?

And that’s the tricky part. The Ultraverse – including The Strangers – was purchased by Marvel Comics about a year after the comics first hit comic shelves. Marvel initially put a big effort into promoting the books, even sending Marvel favorites like Juggernaut and the Black Knight over to the Ultraverse to support the heroes there, but after the various series were cancelled, the characters have been practically persona non grata.

Englehart feels Marvel is hesitant because of contractual obligations to Ultraverse creators, but he wants to see a return of to the stories.

“I have argued that 90% of something is better than 100% of nothing, but Marvel does not want to set the precedent.”

How could the characters be brought back?

“In 2000, Marvel asked me to bring the major characters of the UV into the Marvel U, and I decided to call THEM ‘The Strangers’ because they would entering a new U just like the original group had – and this U would be even stranger because it was an established U full of superheroes, none of whom knew the UV heroes, and vice versa. I was really interested in guys who had proved themselves but had no cred in the MU, and who had no idea who Spider-Man was and so accorded him no cred. The meshing of the two U’s would have been amazing.”

For whatever reason, the series didn’t materialize, but Englehart hopes the characters have their day again.

“That group I put together of the top UV characters was really strong, and none of them duplicated existing Marvel heroes. They would be a whole lot better than trashing the existing Marvel heroes to create ‘new’ groups.”

“They could publish the UV tomorrow if they wanted to. […] My solution was to bring them right into the MU, so that’s obviously my favorite. DC’s Earth-1 to Earth-5000 have nothing on the UV when it comes to conflicting realities.”

To be fair though, this big guy ain’t as dumb as he looks. He actually outsmarts his enemies and has (psuedo) scientific explanations for his powers.

Background:

Created by Harry Ramsey (or is that Fisk?) and Doug Grant (though he’s also credited to ever-talented Basil Wolverton), Stuporman was part of a burgeoning field of comedic heroes being tried out at Timely. UPDATE: Neither is correct! Harry Douglas offers that his father, also named Harry Douglas,  created Stuporman and had an interesting way of signing his name, hence the confusion. The younger Harry Douglas adds that the elder Harry Douglas also created Blue Blaze, another forgotten Timely classic!

The Man in the Iron Mask Without the Mask first appeared in Daring Mystery Comics #6 but he went on to appear in Joker Comics #1 and Comedy Comics #11. Despite the name, Stuperman was much more than a Superman send-up, he was an actual (if comedic) hero!

Marvel later revived the name (but not the concept) with it’s humor titles in the 60s and 70s, but this time he was simply a Superman parody, pure and simple.

According to Crazy #3 This Stuporman was Twink-Ell son of Spark-Ell, last survivor of the planet Kreepton, raised as Kluck Kettle in Hickville only to become hero of Megopolis. Everything went great until the editors of “Natural Comics” decided to create a dozen varieties of Kreeptonite to give him a fear of the outside world and introduce dozens of other survivors (including his “kissing cousin,” a cat, a dog, a monkey, a skunk…) to give him an inferiority complex. He finally gets so fed up he kicks them all out of the universe – accidentally sending himself to the “Marble Universe!”

There was also a Stuporman who fought the Clock for Quality Comics. A lot of Quality was bought by DC, but the Clock is actually the first masked super-hero, and he’s actually public domain now, and in a round about way, a version of him was purchased by Marvel through the Protectors – but that’s the subject of a future MMM.

The story:

In Daring Mystery Comics we are introduced to Marmaduke Snood Jr., Ph.D, DS, LLD (“and other letters acquired by eating alphabet soup”), super-human powerhouse and all around swell guy. Rather than changing into his costume at the cry of trouble, he changes after getting vanilla on his brown suit (what else did he have to wear?). He then flies in his flying pod (see Abilities below) to his “Sylvan Retreat” (a nearby park) when a firefighter alerts him of trouble. Of course, he already knew Mike Murphy’s house had burnt down, and asked the fireman to carry him to the trouble (“No sense in wasting my energy on details like walking.”).

By thinking up an incomprehensible formula, he deduces the villain to be mobster Mike Muskrat. Flying feet-first to the bad guy’s lair, he is fired upon by costumed goons. Catching every bullet with his super-fast hands, he squishes them together into a bowling ball and hurls it at his opponents.

He then takes a nap (to activate his super-super conscious power that tells him what he should do).

Meanwhile, Muskrat, his henchman Dr. Krotz and one-armed stone-cutters use glass doorknobs stolen from 82 burnt houses to make fake diamonds. When Krotz spies state troopers approaching the house with his oraphtranspicoscope he quickly applies his uniform sprayer to them. Once sprayed with black and white striped suits, the soldiers believe they are criminals and work for the bad guys (naturally).

With all hope lost, it’s up to Stuporman to save the day – now that he’s awake. He finds Dr. Krotz and bonks him on the head. Turns out he was Prof. Plotz of Bale College, and too much pressure on the brain turned him evil. The quick jolt from Stuporman relieved that pressure, making him good again! It’s then quick work for Stuporman to find Muskrat and his men (having just stolen 12 trillion dollars) and knock them all out. Rather than make several trips to the prison, he lays them all on telephone poles and carries the poles to the police.

In thanks for a job well done, the governor places a sign in every state park: “SILENCE, Stuporman at Rest.”

Abilities:

Well, first off, he’s smart. He has doctorates in medicine, law and science. He’s also super strong and fast (according to his intro, he can hold “a piano in one hand, with the other he plays Chopin’s minute waltz in eleven seconds”) and (as said) nigh invulnerable. He even knows when trouble’s about with his super-super conscious mind that tells him about trouble while he sleeps (think Cosmic Awareness).

There’s also that flying thing, though he prefers to fly backwards to keep dust out of his eyes.

He’s got gadgets too! With his Secret X-698 ½ R Ray he can create a swooshing vehicle.

Maybe he was called “Stuporman” for the same reason a villain would call himself “Dr. Fear”: because he causes his enemies to stupor!

Why hasn’t the character shown up again?

He was a joke right? Joke’s can’t be in continuity, can they?

How could the character be brought back?

Tell that to Howard the Duck.

This guy would fit in well with Marvel’s wartime heroes, and heck, if you used the 1970’s origin he could be a Dakkamite!

In the tradition of Tommy Tyme and Jimmy Jupiter and other alliterative boy heroes, we take a moment back into the Golden Age of comics to visit Davey Drew, orphan demon summoner.

Davey and his unnamed Demon fought for four issues straight in perhaps the most one-sided extended battle in comicdom. Despite Davey’s valiant efforts to keep humanity safe, he’s long been forgotten by the Marvel Universe.

And now… read on … if you dare!

Background:

Publisher Martin Goodman had a big success in the anthology title Marvel Mystery Comics. As a result, for the first few years Timely would produce a new book with several new heroes every month. Daring Mystery Comics and USA Comics each included new heroes, although some were reminiscent of prior successes (Dymanic Man was a new take on the Human Torch, the Defender was basically Captain America in a different costume).

Davey, appearing in 1941’s Mystic Comics #7 through 10, was a bit different however. His adventures really don’t feel like those of other super-heroes, and in fact Davey isn’t much of a hero on the surface. The creation of artist Howard James was just a normal runaway orphan who accidentally unleashed a demon on the world. Rather than run and hide, he took it upon himself to follow the Demon from state to state in a relentless battle to stop him.

He didn’t even need a kindly old uncle to tell him, he knew what his responsibilities were.

The story:

When we first meet Davey Drew (no relation) he’s running away from the orphan asylum because he couldn’t handle the structure and rules of the place. Running to an abandoned house he’d been told to stay away from, Davey finds a cave with a stone wall and a voice, calling from the darkness:

“HELP ME, help me! I’m imprisoned behind this wall — you can save me by hitting the black bottom stone three times with your left foot!”

Of course, anything on the left is considered sinister in old superstitions, and black stuff too for that matter, but Davey didn’t know that, so being a Good Samaritan he did as asked, and was shocked to see a 20-foot-tall demon (calling himself the Demon) who had been trapped “by a magician in the days before time began.” Ignoring Davey’s protestations, the Demon thanks him for releasing him and gives him a cape that will never allow the Demon to harm him.

The Demon is shocked by how much progress is made and hurt (albeit not permanently) by bullets, but even the military is no match for the beast. Davey jumps in to stop the monster, and while his punches have no effect on him, every time the Demon tries to hurt him he is thrown back by a powerful shock of energy. Each time he is frustrated, the demon moves on, followed relentlessly by Davey.

The boy is shocked by the trail of destroyed buildings and injured people, and can do nothing when captured by the Demon (who was careful not to touch him directly) when the ancient magician returns: the Prince of Good!

The Prince of Good was likewise 20 feet tall and similarly powerful and durable, but he would appear and disappear at a moment’s notice, often calling on the normal-sized Davey to give him directions. Each time the Prince appeared, the Demon would be defeated, but every time, the Demon secretly escaped to cause destruction again.

In the final confrontation between Davey and the Demon, the Prince was no where to be seen (perhaps because the battle took place in the Grand Canyon, far from any innocent bystanders). Davey took a plane (no explanation of how he afforded the ticket) to find the Demon in the highlands of Arizona and lured the beast into a hidden cavern lit by strangely glowing stalactites. The Demon accidentally knocked down a wall during their subterranean battle, causing the Colorado River to rush in and drown him.

Davey hoped that would be the last he saw of his foe.

Abilities:

Davey had no powers, save for his incredible courage and the cape given to him by the demon. Since the Demon described himself as “the embodiment of all evil on Earth,” it could be extrapolated that the cape protects Davey from all evil – as long as the evil being is directly trying to hurt him.

The Demon can lift dozens (possibly hundreds) of tons and can survive great falls, bullets and being buried alive, although he does feel pain.

The Prince of Good has similar powers, but he can teleport in and out when he feels he is needed. Both the Prince and Demon are immortal.

Why hasn’t the character shown up again?

Quite simply, Davey and the Demon aren’t typical characters for a super-hero dominated industry, and like many of Timely’s also-rans, they just got overlooked.

How could the character be brought back?

Jess Nevins suggested repackaging Davey and his Demon into something more like Stanley and his Monster or Johnny Thunder and Thunderbolt. Of course, the Demon is a lot less friendly than Spot and not as compliant as Thunderbolt, but therein lies the story.

Any wartime stories could certainly tie in the Nazis, as the Demon would gladly join any enemies of America if he thought they would help him fight the Prince (with his ultimate goal being the destruction of humanity, of course).

In the modern era, the Demon and the Prince could be tied to existing races. They could be a demon and angel respectively, or a Deviant and Eternal, or even djinns!

This week creator Alan Kupperberg talks about one of his most obnoxious creations, and an obscure Marvel character that appeared in dozens of issues before appearing in a single story,

Obnoxio the Clown is one of the strangest heroes to almost exist in the Marvel Universe. For years he was nothing more than the mascot for Marvel’s joke magazine Crazy , like Alfred E. Neuman of Mad or Sylvester P. Smythe of Cracked or ProJunior of Wild or Irving Forbush was for SNAFU.

Unlike all those other guys (well, except maybe Forbush-Man), Obnoxio fought the X-Men.

And won.

Background:

Comic book veteran Alan Kupperberg was Obnoxio’s first and most prolific artist and writer, but he doesn’t want to be known as his creator (Obnoxio’s got a face even a mother wouldn’t love). He passes that (dubious) honor off to fellow High School of Art & Design alumnus Larry Hama (known to many as the long time writer of G.I. Joe, Wolverine and creator of Dr. Deth.

“[Crazy editor] Larry Hama created Obnoxio and drew the first pictures of him. I don’t know if these were ever printed, but I do not think so. As the Editor, the creation of an acceptable mascot was his prerogative. Obnoxio is an excellent example of Larry Hama’s sense of humor, which I dig. […] I suppose, part of why he chose me to be Obnoxio’s Godfather.”

Obnoxio wasn’t necessarily intended to be the mag’s mascot, but he was a hit with the kiddies, showing his ugly mug in 1980, seven year’s into Crazy’s run.

“Obnoxio’s first appearance was in a one panel illustration to accompany a subscription ad in CRAZY, written by Larry and called for likenesses of P.T. Barnum and Marcy Tweed among others. This was right up my alley, so I pulled the reference and really went to town, doing a very nice half-tone illo. I think the piece impressed Larry quite a bit, because if my memory is correct, Larry left me strictly alone on anything and everything Obnoxio the Clown-related. Once he realized that I knew what he wanted, he knew that here was x-number of pages that he did not have to worry about in every issue.”

Kupperberg worked with writer Michael Pellowski on a lot of the Obnoxio the Clown Fun Pages, but most of what the evil clown said and did came from Kupperberg’s twisted psyche, something he continued long after Crazy’s 1983 demise with the aptly named Evil Clown Comics from the National Lampoon. Despite the similarities between the titular Frenchy the Clown and the nearly-as-evil Obnoxio, Kupperberg said the two were not separated at birth.

“Given the number of clown characters extant in comics, I always felt that my involvement with the two characters was an incredible coincidence.”

The story:

With only a few black-and-white panels and some cover appearances, Obnoxio never got a proper origin, though Kupperberg has his theories…

“He was raised in Ed Gein’s basement, locked in a closet, with nothing to read but a complete run of EC Comics’ PANIC!”

Wherever he came from, the sick clown was not destined to go gentle into that good night. With Crazy ending, he jumped into the Marvel Universe proper by facing the company’s biggest sellers in a story called “Obnoxio the Clown vs. the X-men,” in a self-titled one-shot suggested by Hama and supported by editor Jim Salicrup.

In the main story, Obnoxio travels to the X-Mansion to perform at Kitty Pryde’s birthday party. Professor X explains in his inner monologue “I’ve even arranged for the services of her favorite clown from “Crazy” magazine!” (Clearly he never read an issue, or he’d know better!)

Unfortunately, the team-up becomes a spontaneous and misguided fight (as they always do) thanks to the appearance of a mutant so powerful he causes Cerebro to explode! That mutant? Eye Scream! A mutant who can… uh… turn to ice cream.

Whatever. Anyway, the X-men scramble to take on the mystery mutant, mistaking Obnoxio for the 31-flavored villain. The errant mascot proceeds to blow up the X-Mansion containment cell, electrify the armored Colossus, disable Nightcrawler with his own powers, break the Danger Room and annoy Wolverine. While the main group is distracted, the Prof takes out Eye Scream by convincing him he’s an ice cone. Pissed he was invited to such a crummy place, Obnoxio leaves Kitty Pryde to celebrate her birthday alone.

In the second half of the book, Obnoxio goes to jury duty and makes a mockery of the criminal justice system, even scaring the bejeezus out of Henry Mitchell.

Abilities:

“Well, OTC had to have SOME gimmick other than a wisecrack comeback. I admit that the gimmick is borrowed from the 1960 Felix the Cat television series. I limited the stuff he had in there to clown paraphernalia, but Felix could pull anything out of his bag o’ tricks.”

Basically, aside from being limber enough to evade the Danger Room’s defense systems and invulnerable enough to escape an explosion, Obnoxio could pull any humor-related object (seemingly from thin air).

Why hasn’t the character shown up again?

Crazy was cancelled the same year the one-shot came out, and most of Mad’s competitors have since (part of a sadly growing trend). Obnoxio’s time as a mascot as passed, and Marvel wasn’t yet ready for a sarcastic fourth-wall breaking sociopath.

How could the character be brought back?

Now time’s have changed and Obnoxio might just fit into the Marvel Universe.

“All that has to happen is for the top guy to say ‘go ahead.’ It would help if someone would make a presentation to MARVEL. I would love to be involved in a new iteration of OTC. I would certainly not like to see anyone else do it.”

Maybe he’s from the clown-dominated Dimension X (of course the place has other creatures), or maybe he’s one of the clown-aliens of the Interstel Church of Perpetual Annoyance. Either way, he doesn’t seem human.

Besides, Marvel has a planet of zombies and a planet of apes… why not send in the clowns?

As for Kupperberg’s clownishness, something else is in the works.

“We are about to publish a complete collection of Frenchy’s Evil Clown Comics, reprinting (in COLOR for the first time) the entire run from the National Lampoon. The book will contain over fifty pages of brand new material. It’s a lovely book. We just had an ashcan printed and it is a spectacular package.”

No date is set, but when killer clowns are involved, keep watching the skies!

And yet, they haven’t made a mark on the Marvel Universe yet – what gives?

Background:

As stated, the Tzin were introduced in one of those free give-aways intended to teach kids right from wrong. In this case, that means Captain America Goes to War Against Drugs, the aptly named book co-sponsored by the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

That’s right, the FBI produced a comic book about finding aliens hiding among us causing our nation’s ills. Mulder was right!

Ah-chem… anyway, the PAD-written story featured interesting alien conquerors who (despite the promising comic title) Captain America never actually battles!

The story:

In the story, unseen Tzin scouts observe Earth from their ship. While they hope to conquer humans for slave labor, they worry that even if the world’s military might and super-powered protectors can be defeated (not really a big concern for them, it seems), they might face a greater threat in the long run if human slaves eventually cause a destructive uprising or kill themselves off in a futile battle for freedom. It seems the latter problem affected the “Halvings of Origi III” who were obliterated after resisting an unsuccessful enslavement attempt. A fairly reasonable concern actually.

To test human suitability, they decided to test “four special individuals who have the potential to be major contributors to mankind.” As in, children who could be something important some day if they don’t screw themselves over with the transgressions of youth. If at least two of the four fail, Earth should be considered a prime candidate for attack.

What better way to test this than with free drugs?

Cap gets involved when Teen Brigade member Keith Wilson wrote him a letter expressing concern over promising teen athlete Mitch Baskin who has been acting funny.

It seems Mitch was getting performance enhancers from “Harry” and nearly kills another player with a bean ball when Cap arrives. Before our hero can save the day however, Mitch shows “Harry” what he thinks of his drugs, only to discover “Harry” has a secret of his own…

Cap doesn’t learn the truth here, but it’s clear the first of the four tests ended in Earth’s favor, what will happen next?

Abilities:

We know the Tzin have conquered and/or obliterated entire races before. We know they can observe Earth without being spotted by our best sky-watchers (remember, this includes Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four). We know they can make some tempting drugs.

That’s about it. We never even get to see their faces, just those freaky hands.

Why haven’t these characters shown up again?

Well they did, in another free not-quite-in-continuity book, Captain America: The Drug Wars. The book included a reprint of this story and the New Warriors going after more Tzin agents.

Other than that, these are just more characters left to comic book limbo because they debuted in a free book.

How could these characters be brought back?

Well, it’d be fun to hear a reference to, or even see the Tzin (maybe their known victims, the Halvings) in one of Marvel’s cosmic books, or Peter David could revisit them for a cameo or something.

Too bad he isn’t doing the Captain Marvel comic anymore, since space and PAD’s unique humor were a great combination, and would’ve been the perfect spot to see the Tzin.

First and foremost, something is seriously weird about the iPhone’s self-censorship system.

All apps are slowly updating to catch up to 3.0 software, and apparently updating the iQuran app includes a warning that the Muslim holy book could be inappropriate for minors. This true for other religions? On my phone I have the Quran, the Book of Mormon, the King James edition, the complete works of Shakespeare, Karl Marx and H. G. Wells. I like to stay well-read… but I was surprised by this update.

What gives? Does Apple want minors to reconsider their religious affiliation or was this done by the makers of iQuran? Guided Ways has been notified of the situation, so let’s see where this goes.

In tangentially related news, there’s a new game app that features a red-and-blue hero singing from building to building in a major city by a “rope” shot from his wrists. Rope’n'Fly is apparently not Spider-Man.

Yeah… that’s not Spider-Man, it’s just a coincidence.

Of course, the regular Spidey doesn’t fall to pieces when he lands on the street.

Like other companies in the years between the Golden Age of super-heroes and their revival in the Silver Age, Marvel tried any number of other genres, from westerns to romance to science-fiction. In some areas, particularly the westerns and sci-fi comics, Marvel’s creators excelled far beyond many of their competitors (in quality, if not sales figures), but they weren’t quite as original with some of the also-ran genres.

Take Little Lizzie, for example, she sure seems familiar, and it’s not nice to imitate someone with a lot of friends.

Background:

Little Lizzie was one of many humor mags Marvel was trying out. Mind you, this wasn’t the Marvel Comics we know today, but publisher Martin Goodman tried several names out before Marvel finally stuck, and when Little Lizzie premiered in 1949, the company was called “Marvel.”

Not that this little innovation made much of a difference, seeing as the comic was visually ripped off of the very popular (and still recognizable) Little Lulu. LL even had a chubby boyfriend/rival, though Marvel’s version was a money-grubbing tightwad named Stingy MacDingy (that’s din-gee, not ding-ee). And the similarities didn’t end there.

The series was cancelled after only five Stan Lee and David Gantz-created issues, but Goodman’s people tried again in 1953 with a new company called Atlas Comics and a new Little Lizzie series by Howie Post. This one was still very familiar (as we’ll see in a moment), but at least Lizzie looked a lot less like Lulu by this point. She lasted for three issues.

The story:

In the original series, Little Lizzie spent most of her time with Stingy MacDingy, the stingiest boy in town (get it?), either trying to win his affection monetarily or trying to one-up him. She was a smart kid, but not above needing an angel on her shoulder to look after her.

Gee, that sounds familiar…

Anyway, she and her mom and popsie kept busy with the usual little kid antics, even tying up baby Oswald Lumpkin when she was hired to babysit the poor tike (despite calling Oswald’s mother “Mrs. Lumpkin,” it seems Lizzie’s dad is referred to as “Mr. Lumpkin” in a later issue, and “Lizzie Lumpkin” does have a ring to it).

The later series seems to star the same girl with the same parents, but she’s gone from black-haired to redheaded and the chubby kid she hangs out with is Oscar (who’s pretty grouchy), along with a whiz-kid named Benny and a younger kid named Pee Wee Plunkett.

There’s a lot more variety in these comics, with less repetition (no more “stingy” jokes) and less obvious “homages” to Little Lulu, but like Lulu, Lizzie babysits the younger blond boy.

Lizzie also seems a lot craftier than she used to be, not just tricking the boys out of all their money (and playing a piano cross-handed while doing it), but Gazeebo the gorilla as well!

Abilities:

Black-haired or red, Lizzie is one smart cookie, and pretty entrepreneurial too, as every scheme she came up with earned her enough for at least an ice cream!

Why hasn’t the character shown up again?

As usual, Marvel’s humor characters have been left in the dust…

How could the character be brought back?

… but there’s hope! Whether Lizzie is a member of the Lumpkin family or simply knew them growing up, it seems a sure bet she’s related to Willie Lumpkin by now!

Lumpkin was one of those names Stan Lee liked to throw around a lot (like Forbush), so Willie has a pretty good-sized extended family. And if they are related, we’ll know where good-looking red-head genes come from!

He might sound like the ultimate Marvel villain, until you realize he named himself “The Asthma Monster” and that he could be defeated by regular inhaler usage.

Background:

The Asthma Monster – AKA Daniel Tyler of Midville, USA – was one of many characters introduced over the years for free comics intended as public service announcements. Not unlike the infamous Hostess ads, these often featured villains who were throw-away characters, intended only to get the main point across. Each give-away was usually co-produced by or made for the benefit of a specific non-profit organization or pharmaceutical company, in this case Allen & Hanburys, a division of Glaxo Inc.

Marvel doesn’t do these too often anymore, but have been known to create free comics to support the troops.

The story:

Debuting in 1988’s creatively-titled “Captain America meets the Asthma Monster,” this dastardly villain was little more than a costume-wearing thug, picking on the students of George Washington Elementary because he wanted other people to suffer the effects of asthma.

Jerk.

Anyway, Cap sent him packing but in 1989’s surprisingly-named “Return of the Asthma Monster,” he returned! Not only that, but it was revealed that he had previously created an Allergen Gang of Gremlin-like creatures, ranging from insectoid to mammal to bird to reptile, each with unique physical characteristics and powers, and each with human-like intelligence and sapience. Not only that, but he had a state-of-the-art teleporter too!

Hearing the Asthma Monster broke out of jail, Cap visits John Wilson and Ruth Johnson, the two kids who helped stop him the first time. Sure enough, the Asthma Monster teleported into Ruth’s house as soon as the trio of heroes arrived. They foiled his initial attack with Glaxo-brand inhalers, but he let the Allergen Gang fight them! Each critter has specific allergy-related powers and names, like Rugburn the dirty carpet monster, Dust Dragon the filthy ventilation monster, Furball the pet dander monster, the Mold Patrol flying monsters and… uh… Feather Boa, the…uh… feather boa.

They can’t all be winners.

Long story short, Cap defeats Asthma Monster again, and this time, despite his claims that only his specially-designed suit can keep him alive, Midville’s very own Dr. Franklin offers to help the villain control his asthma. Apparently, agreeing to use an inhaler was enough to convince the parole board that this man who caused incurable asthma in hundreds of men, women and children, attempted to murder Captain America and two other children, and made a violent escape from prison, deserved a second chance.

Ain’t that sweet.

Abilities:

Again, despite his goofy name and lack of a doctorate, this guy apparently created a life-sustaining suit, a teleporter, an gas that can cause asthma in those not prone to it, a host of freaky creatures and who knows what else!

On the other hand, it’s possible he had help.

Why hasn’t the character shown up again?

Well, there is that goofy aspect to him. Also, some fans apparently think he exists in an alternate reality, though nothing in the story indicates that.

How could the character be brought back?

As a reformed villain, he might be an interesting go-to guy for a hardluck hero or villain looking for some equipment. As a returning villain he could take on a new name and amp up his threat factor (hey, it worked for Paste Pot Pete). His gang of creatures could also come back, just to be a nuisance.

So much potential!

MARVEL MYSTERY HANDBOOK:
70TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL #1

WRITER: Michael Hoskin, Ronald Byrd, Anthony Flamini, Stuart Vandal, KEVIN GARCIA, Jacob Rougemont, David Wiltfong, Sean McQuaid
PENCILS: Mitch Breitweiser
THE STORY:
As the Marvel Universe celebrates 70 years of the world’s greatest comics, journey back to where it all began — OFFICIAL HANDBOOK OF THE MARVEL UNIVERSE style! Featuring the greatest characters of Marvel’s first year — a year that not only gave us the Sub-Mariner, the Human Torch, the Angel and Ka-Zar, but also THE TWELVE’s Black Widow, Phantom Bullet, Electro, Mister E, Dynamic Man, Phantom Reporter, Fiery Mask, Master Mind Excello and Laughing Mask! Also featuring a host of oddities from Fletcher Hanks’ Whirlwind Carter to Taxi Taylor! Plus: an introduction by Timely comics scholar Dr. Michael J. Vassallo! Rated T …$4.99
IN STORES: September 30, 2009